Researchers describe the new “rush hour of life,” when career and child-rearing peaks collide as intense. Admittedly, the last size years of my life have been a bit of a fog. As a result, my expectations for people and experiences outside of my work and family are high. I just don’t have the energy or capacity to “work a room” like I use to.
Jerry Seinfeld said in an interview last year that his favorite part of the Emmy Awards was when the comedy writers went onstage to collect their prize. “You see these gnome-like cretins, just kind of all misshapen. And I go, ‘This is me. This is who I am. That’s my group.’ ” I couldn’t agree more, the older I get the stronger my determination is to find a tribe that fits. I don’t want to be with the cool people; I just want to be with my people.
Three years in to my thirties, I have come to understand my social tendencies on a deeper level. I don’t force relationships anymore. I am not interested in re-living high school and struggling to keep up a place in a clique. The friendships that I seek are the ones that come easy – they shouldn’t become work.
My thirties are about choice. I no longer feel an urgency to prove anything to anyone. The company I choose deserves high expectations because it is a direct reflection of me. I want witty, positive, smart, driven, honest and funny people in my life. That’s my tribe.